I almost didn’t write this post, I know that its about an emotive subject. The birth of a child. Something that millions of women will know about, and have their own experience of. But this post isn’t about the right or wrong way to deliver a baby. I don’t actually believe there is a right of a wrong way. We just want them here safely right? What this is really about is the power of your mind.
How many times have you doubted that you could do something? Thats actually a silly question because there is no way that you could count them. Our uncertainty runs through us like a crack at times. Our brains want to live by familiar patterns, and so anything new is seen as danger.
I know this feeling, in a previous life I was filled with doubts about who I was, about my decision making skills, and about what I was capable of and where I was going. Prior experiences were keeping me small, my brain forever trying to keep me safe.
However, when I fell pregnant. I decided that my birth experience was going to be amazing. I was going to give birth naturally, in the water without pain relief. It would be fast and I wouldn’t need any intervention. Again, this wasn’t just my ideal, or what I wanted, but what I truly believed would happen.
I had nothing else to base this on. No history to compare it to. This was brand new, and I was choosing what was in my future. Throughout my pregnancy I heard various “horror stories”, but none of them scared me. Every time someone tried to tell me something that didn’t fit with my new belief, I just repeated it to myself, and my inner dialogue was on a loop of “that’s their story, not yours”.
At 37 weeks gone I was told there was too much fluid around the baby, and that it would be dangerous if my waters broke in one go. But that wasn’t in my plan. They were going to break in the pool at the hospital – I had decided that months ago.
My labour started at 2:45pm in the afternoon, less than 3 hours later I was having contractions every 3 minutes. I was still at home, bouncing on the birthing ball. I felt totally relaxed. We arrived at the hospital at 7pm and with 30 minutes I was in the pool. My son arrived just over 2 hours later without incident, and without any pain relief for me. At no point was I scared, I didn’t doubt my bodies ability for a second. I just knew that I could do it, and all would be well. There simply wasn’t another option as far as my mind was concerned.
Thats the most powerful I have ever felt. As any woman does that has brought life into this world. I felt like a superhero. It was a time when my mindset was so strong that nothing could shake it. On that note, however your baby arrived, you will have endured pain, and discomfort like never before, but you’re still here. You are so much stronger than you know.
Now, I have no proof whatsoever that it was my belief that made that stuff happen, perhaps thats how it was always meant to be. But, my mind would not and could not deviate. I had made a conscious decision that I would have my “dream birth” and I visualised it over and over again in the build up to the day he arrived.
If I ever do have a wobble where my mind tries to make me doubt myself, I simply remind it of what I achieved that day, that I am strong, and capable, and can reach wherever the hell I want to. Its about staying the course, choosing for myself what is going to happen, and truly believing that its possible.
Mindset is the key to everything.