How often do you worry about judgement from other people?
Last Sunday was Mother’s Day, and rather than spend the entirety of it with my husband and son, I decided to take myself out for brunch. A couple of delicious hours with freshly cooked hot food, a hot drink, and pages and pages of the latest book I’m reading.
I’ve been excited about it for weeks.
However, on the walk to the restaurant, I felt a little anxious. What would people think of me dining alone? Would they mutter, would they stare? Perhaps I wouldn’t enjoy it and would feel awkward. My warm glow of anticipation was being hampered by a niggle of doubt in my tummy.
Do you know what? Some people did stare, but here is the thing. I have absolutely no idea what they were thinking. The only way I could have known is to ask them.
I could have sat there and made up stories about what was going through their minds.
How sad that she is here on her own.
If she is a Mum she should be at home with her children
Wow, wish I could have had some me time too.
It could have been one of those, none of those, something else altogether. But ultimately IT DOESN’T MATTER.
Its simply opinions of people that I don’t know, and that have zero baring on my life, and wasting my time and energy attempting to be a telepath would have ruined my enjoyment of the whole thing.
No thank you. That is something I am not allowing.
All too often we don’t do the thing we want to do because we fear other peoples judgement.
I can’t wear that
I cant dye my hair
I cant eat at a restaurant alone
I cant quit my job, leave my marriage, move to the other side of the world…
The list is endless and its crippling us
Ask yourself this. Who’s opinion matters to you the most?
In case you need a helping hand, the answer should be “mine”.
Now ask yourself this. What do you gain from the validation of others, and why do you need it? and then. How can you start to validate yourself?
You might be thinking, ah yes Rachel, but those were strangers. Very true, although I can tell you that I was on the receiving end of a large dose of judgement from someone very close to me…
I knew it would happen, but I simply smiled because the truth is this, any time someone judges me, thats on them. Any time someone judges you, thats on them too. It isn’t your burden to bear, your puzzle to piece together. Its not anything you need to give your energy too unless you want to, and who would want to do that? Let them tie themselves in knots and carry on doing what YOU truly want to do.
At the end of the day, nobody but nobody should get a greater say in how you live your life than you. End of story.