Its been a bit of a whirlwind in life this week feelings wise. Its not relevant to go into details, but I have got some stuff going on. Stuff that is heavy to process, and is hurting my heart.
This is the sort of thing we grow up being taught to gloss over, with a plethora of unhelpful statements from others
“look on the bright side”
Now, I am a huge advocate of positive thinking for sure, but what I am more an advocate of is being really bloody honest about how we feel. To get real and admit that we are struggling. Its part of being human after all.
It would be so easy for me to go out on a spending spree, or dive into a Social Media hole and spend hours and hours mindlessly scrolling, because its feels better than processing whats actually happening.
But I know that no good comes from covering up. This is why the world is so messed up. For generations we have been told as children to keep smiling, to cheer up because nobody wants to see a face like that.
As soon as that starts, we start to hide our feelings away, and feelings that don’t get dealt with turn toxic, they start to permeate every area of our lives and inevitably lead to bitterness and a jaded view of the world.
So what am I doing at this very challenging time. Not much truth be told. I’ve been getting a lot of fresh air, as breathing in the stale stuff at home does nobody any favours long term. I’ve been surrounding myself with my most loved people, thats my husband and son, and have been excusing myself from any social situations that I don’t feel I have the headspace for.
I’ve been journalling, which is also cathartic and productive.
Above all else, I have been present, I have sat with my feelings and allowed them to come and go as they need to. Throughout all of this I am showing myself all the love and kindness that I can. Tears have been shed freely, and it helps so much to release.
Feelings teach us so much, and we cannot fully live if we try and avoid that bad and only try and feel the good. One cannot truly exist without the other.
Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t easy, not even for me. Its not nice to be in a place that feels dark and a little scary, but the light will come again, and I know that there is a gift waiting to be found. As there is anytime something “bad” happens.
So I choose to remain open, I choose to take things a day at a time and not try and rush past this, because if I try and avoid this, it’ll fester and come back later in a bigger and more painful way.
Want to know my top tips for when things get tough?
1. Get outside, look at the sky and not at your phone. Remember what it feels like to be alive.
2. Move your body be that through dance, hardcore exercise or a gentle walk.
3. Listen to music and sing (no matter how badly) music is good for the soul.
4. Find someone who will really listen. Not someone that will try and fix things, or tell you to cheer up (so helpful), but someone who you can just let it all out to without fear of judgement. I can help you if you don’t have anyone that will do that.
5. Write a gratitude list. When things are bleak, its easy for our minds to snowball and see everything as wrong. But by taking 5 minutes a day to make a list of everything you are grateful for, you’ll see that your life is still far more abundant than lacking.
6. Avoid your distraction techniques, whatever that is for you. Could be shopping, drinking, overeating, drugs, social media. Love yourself enough to listen to what you truly need.
Always remember that your feelings are just that, feelings. They aren’t you. So let them show you what they need to, pay attention to the lessons, and then choose to let them go.