Coronavirus : What can you control?

I know I know, Coronavirus doesn't fall under the remit of family estrangement. But, as a Coach that is seeing and hearing from a lot of very anxious women at the moment, I wanted to put this together in the hope that it will help some of you to take a breathe, and settle into calm. This is new territory for all of us. Its so easy to get swept up in fear, but you don't have to. Hear me out... First of all. You control what you consume, you do not have to listen to any of it, or you can limit how much information you do absorb and from where. I have set my own boundaries around this. I check the BBC website once a day at a time where things are relatively quiet, and then I turn [...]

2020-03-16T20:09:46+00:0016 March 2020|Uncategorised|0 Comments

Adulting is bullshit

Feels like this sometimes doesn’t it? Where you want to leave your one star rating , wash your hands of it all and go and hide somewhere. Thing is, nobody is ever going to take over, nobody is coming to save you. Sounds like a bi-line for a movie right? 😂 It’s easy to get stuck in that place of stubbornness, of inaction & of not taking responsibility. Because even though we are getting lines on our faces & more candles on our birthday cakes, nobody teaches us how to be adults. We pick it up from people around us, that’s not always great. We pick cold bugs up from other people too and nobody wants those. 🦠 Last night I caught an old episode of Gordon Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares. He was at a Bistro in Florida, where the chef was driving [...]

2020-03-16T19:39:05+00:0016 March 2020|Uncategorised|0 Comments

Want to be a better parent?

Parent A “It’s bothering me how much I shout at my kid, I’ve got to find a better way to deal with my own feelings & help my kid express theirs”⁣ ⁣ Parent B “Nah mate, don’t worry about it, we all do it all the time. It’s just how it is”⁣ ⁣ Ladies. Stay the f*ck away from Parent B please. In fact stay away from (or limit your time with) any person that poo-poo’s your desire to improve.⁣ If they want to live in the “this is just they way I am” box then let them. But please don’t let them stop you.⁣ It doesn’t matter what it is, your commitment to be a better parent than the ones you had, your desire to quit the rat race, your dreams of going from non-runner to marathon Queen, NOBODY [...]

2020-03-16T19:36:12+00:0016 March 2020|Uncategorised|0 Comments

When love doesn’t feel like love

"What happened to us" you wonder. "We used to be so in love" You’re staring off into the distance aren’t you? Zoning out of reality because it’s all getting a little too tiresome. ⁣ That row has reared it’s ugly head again, and chips away at you a little bit more.⁣ ⁣ Now you’re fantasising about a life without them in it, you feel brighter, there’s less tension in your shoulders, for a second you think about how great it could be to be solo, who you could be & where you could go. But then, as quickly as that thought arrived, it leaves you again, in its place comes fear, doubt, and a little voice that says “leaving would cause too much drama”.⁣ ⁣ You’ve been dancing with this for a while, should you stay or should you go. [...]

2019-08-05T11:33:21+01:005 August 2019|Uncategorised|0 Comments

Whats the problem with Divorce?

In a client session this week, the topic of divorce came up. It was met with resistance & with fear...seen as a bad thing.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Why? Because the way we view marriage is all wrong. Being married for 10, 20, 50, 60 years does not equate to a healthy & happy marriage, but length of time seems to be at the top of the list when it comes to measuring marital success.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ It doesn’t matter that you are miserable together, it doesn’t matter that your sex life upped and left years ago, it doesn’t matter that you both feel frustrated, angry, resentful. It doesn’t matter that you’ve turned into each other’s favourite verbal punch bag. It doesn’t matter that you can’t remember any of the reasons why you are together. It only matters that you keep on racking up [...]

2019-08-01T12:22:03+01:001 August 2019|Uncategorised|0 Comments

The Victim. Are you playing one?

Are you playing the role of the victim in the story of your life? Lets start with a question. How do you feel on a Sunday evening? Honestly they used to fill me with complete and utter dread. The thought of another 5 days of commuting and sitting at the most boring job in all the world. I spent so many years moaning about my career. I worked almost two decades in Corporate Finance. Not once did I ever really enjoy it. But I accepted it, telling myself that I would never get anything better, I wasn't worthy of it. It was my lot to be miserable in my work and in life generally. What else could I expect? Fulfillment, contentment, joy, they were all meant for other people and not me. It was the same in past relationships with [...]

2019-06-09T20:47:58+01:009 June 2019|Uncategorised|0 Comments

Are you ready for change?

Are you ever ready for change? In 2002 I gave up smoking. I’m not ashamed to say that up until the point that it wasn’t anymore, it had been one of my favourite things in the world. I started on my 16th birthday, boldly walking into the local newsagent and saying to the lady serving “well you know I’m 16 today, you have to serve me. I smoked a lot, even had a reputation for being a heavy smoker & it was something I owned proudly. Such was the state of my self esteem then. ⁣ But, I decided to quit, money being the motivator. I went cold turkey, i don’t even remember if nicotine patches had arrived in our world at that point. ⁣ I lasted 10 hours, before I thought I was going to lose the plot. I felt [...]

2019-06-07T20:01:15+01:007 June 2019|Uncategorised|0 Comments

Change isn’t always supported

Some people will never get it. That’s one of the painful truths about growth & change. ⁣ “You’re crazy to leave him”⁣ ⁣ “But you’re so good at what you do”  ⁣ “What do you mean you want more? That’s just greedy”⁣ To them you are rocking a boat that they’ve been sailing plainly on for years. Your growth shines a light on their stagnation.⁣ But thats not your responsibility, not your burden to carry. Stepping up and into a better version of you isn’t for everyone. Some people will forever be standing on the sidelines with heavy hearts looking on while others decide that they won’t live one more day in mediocre land. ⁣ Don’t be a spectator, take part. If you are finally tired of your own bullsh*t then don’t compromise. Make a choice about who you want [...]

2019-06-06T17:08:26+01:006 June 2019|Uncategorised|0 Comments

Do you really believe that?

Do you ever hear someone speak & think to yourself “oh my, how sad that they believe that” (or something similar). ⁣ You can’t fathom how that can exist in their head & be driving their life. It’s seems absurd right?⁣ ⁣ You know that the belief they hold isn’t true, it’s something that they are owning, that perhaps serves a purpose for them. But it’s not based in fact.⁣ ⁣ Now ask yourself how many of those thoughts you have yourself. How many stories are you living by that you have no evidence for? There will be a few I’m sure of it.⁣ ⁣ How can you reframe those stories? How can you write new ones that does work for you, that are based on evidence or that centre around your true values? ⁣ ⁣ If you are struggling [...]

2019-06-05T12:04:24+01:005 June 2019|Uncategorised|0 Comments

Boundaries are a form of self-care

I wanted to talk to you about something that I know to be crucial when it comes to growing as a human being, and that is setting boundaries and not being sorry for them. First of all, be aware of the stories that you are telling yourself about what people can and can't handle. Thats not for you to decide, if something needs to said then you must say it. You get to choose how you do it, but don't choose not to do it. Secondly, its never too late to set a boundary, it doesn't matter how long you've known someone, how much you love and care for them, or how long something has been a certain way. If you feel it needs changing, then go with it. Ask for what your heart truly needs. The truth is, boundaries [...]

2019-05-23T14:37:51+01:0023 May 2019|Uncategorised|0 Comments
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