Hey there fellow Estranged lady, its so lovely to have you here. But why are you here? I think I can hazard a pretty good guess.
You’ve got a sneaky suspicion that your Estrangement story is playing a bigger role in your life than you had previously realised. Something feels OFF and it has done for a long time. There’s nothing obviously wrong so whats the deal? You are hungover my love. Except this is an estrangement hangover, and no amount of painkillers, ready salted crisps and cans of coke will help you.
This hangover is going to take more to shift it for good, its going to take you and me working together to get it gone. Because none of us want to feel like that forever. Its heavy, its miserable and lonely…and it is holding you back.
My hangover showed itself in the following ways…I am sure you can relate to some (perhaps all) of these.
- Fear of change
- Terrified of rejection and so deliberately didn’t go for things I wanted
- Unhealthy romantic relationships with men I saw as projects but who ultimately treated me badly too
- Anger, anger with some rage and fury and more anger added in for good measure
- Defensive…easier to shut people out than risk being hurt right?
- Settling for less in everything that I did.
- Lack of any sense of SELF…worth, esteem, awareness, belief, identity…basically all the self’s.
- Expecting the worst
- Victim mentality…yep that one stings a bit, but its not you doing it, its your ego, the part of you thats unhealed.
My own Estrangement story began when I was 6 and my parents divorced. My Dad was everything to me, but rather than us pull together as father and daughter when the shit hit the fan, he started to pull away. At first it was very subtle, a missed phone call here, a “ooops I thought it was next weekend” there. But then it started to gain momentum, and by the time my Dad got married for the third time (no judgement) it was all over. He had chosen everything and everyone over me. I was beyond devastated.
To the point that at the age of 16 I had a thought one day that it would have been easier for me if he had died instead. The pain was that great.
Of course my internal dialogue was, “this is all your fault, there is something fundamentally wrong with you”. I’m sure you know that one too.
Yet I still believed for so long that it was just ‘something that had happened’. I didn’t realise that it was seeping into everything. From the way I dressed to how I loved and everything in-between. Thats the problem, its hiding in plain sight, its in the fabric of all of you. There’s no changing that, you will always be an Estranged daughter, but it doesn’t need to dictate the rest of your life to you. You have more power than it does, you just need to tap into that.
Speaking of YOU, I want to know your story, I want to hear it all, and to help you fully to your bones understand and know that its not your fault at all.
You are ready, I know you are, or you wouldn’t be here. Theres a whisper inside of you urging you to take action. Don’t ignore it, you are not doing this on your own.
You are precisely the reason that I left my cushy London finance career and retrained as a Coach while I was pregnant with my eldest, you are why I took a leap into the unknown. Your estrangement was no accident, you have important work to do yourself, you have gifts within you that you haven’t even begun uncover yet, and I am going to help you to find them. Come on lady, lets do this. Lets get you sober for good.