Up until a couple of years ago, before I worked with a coach myself, I always had a sense of unrest about me. I felt lost, and as though I didn’t really know who I was. I had forgotten how to feel joyful and enthusiastic about my life.
I was stressed as hell, stuck in a corporate cage that really didn’t suit me, and I felt out of control with lack of focus, and frustration at not knowing what the answer was. I just knew that “this” wasn’t for me. But because I couldn’t figure out my next move I turned against myself. My inner voice was one of loathing, judgement and unkindness.
I felt invisible in my job, but equally I was terrified of being seen, and of doing anything that might lead to failure. I didn’t like who I saw when I looked in the mirror, and didn’t believe anyone else truly did either. But at 37, I felt too old to do anything about it. I had left it too late, this was it.
I blamed others for my situation, I was furious, hurt and not willing to take responsibility. I had done this my whole life, I was highly sensitive and was brilliant at the blame game.
Everything seemed so unfair, why was everyone else sailing through life with all their ducks in a row? I just wanted to run away, I was overwhelmed and burnt out. I was also stuck.
One day in early 2016, the lift doors to my office opened and suddenly it hit me. The pain of staying where I was, was greater than the fear of doing something about it. I had finally reached my limit. So I started doing the work. One thing I did know was that real, lasting change would only come from doing something I had never done before.
I found my coach by chance, a ballsy northerner with a heart of gold, a potty mouth and a no nonsense approach. I loved her immediately. She totally called me out on my bullshit. She knew when I wasn’t being honest with myself, and gradually she stripped me back to basics. I uncovered that part of me that had been denied for so long, I really dealt with my stuff. I had been angry for so long, and it was dissipating with each passing week. I had clarity, energy, direction and a real sense of purpose.
It felt like a slate had been wiped clean, and that I could genuinely start to build a future that was right for me, without fear of judgement or of failing.
I knew then that it was time for me to start something good in the world, and so I did. I retrained as a Transformational Coach with my main focus on Confidence & Mindset for career women, and left the city and set up my own business. All of those things were scary, they were also fucking brilliant.
That business is centred around working with bloody brilliant women that want to make noise, to make an impact, to be visible and leave a powerful legacy behind them. I have really been there my friend. I knew the struggle and the inner conflict all too well. I know the mental roadblocks and how some of them seem so insurmountable. But they really aren’t. There is nothing you can’t do.
The world needs more intelligent, brave, creative souls that will help move the world forward with kindness, strength and bravery. More women who can say “enough” with conviction and walk away from a place thats not right for them. Women who believe that as they head into their 40’s they are just getting started instead of their best years being behind them. Women who want their voices to be heard, and their creativity to be seen. Women who don’t want to settle for whats familiar and comfortable. The world needs more women like you.